Things are still rolling. School is going ok, but it could be better. Football is pretty good right now. I made captain again which is really good, especially for me. I didn't talk to Amanda today, but I could care less. I'm going to try and see where things can go with Kayla. I believe he potential for something is there, but only time will tell. Chulock actually said something to me today, which surprised the hell out of me. We haven't talked for what seems like forever. It's kind of weird, but in a good way. Hopefully I won't have too much trouble finding a Homecoming date either.

An ok day, I guess. Work, which took up most of my day, was the worst part. After that I came home and found out my life is unfulfilled. She said I'm like ketchup that hasn't come out of the bottle, no matter how hard it's shakedn. There's a big juicy burger and the french fries are smelling great, but it isn't complete without the ketchup. Yes, it is quite fucked up, bit it is my mother who said it, after all. So I'm down to 260 from 275 in just four weekds of football. It feels good, but at the same time it doesn't feel any different. My eating habits are starting to go down the tubes again. Too much doamn pizza. I have to really watch what I eat. I talked to Katie for a bit tonight on AIM. I guess she's partying hardy down there. She told me to get there "ASAP." I can't risk it, with football going on and all. My partying will have to wait untill November.

My dad asked my how things were going on the dating front. I told him that it was because females are too expensive. Of course, it was total shit. How in the hell am I supposed to tell anyone that I'm not dating because I don't have the balls to ask anyone out because I have a huge fear of rejection. This week I had it in my head that I was going to go out with someone. I told my mom to set aside some extra money for me to use tonight. It was all bullshit. The only things I've got going for me are school (and only some of it), football (and we got our asses beat again), and my new room. The academic protion of school is finally going good. I have no idea where my work ethic is coming from, but it's nice. I guess the social part of it is going alright too. I'm talking to more girls than I have in the past. I honestly don't know why. Not much has changed from the past three years. It can't be just the contacts. I don't know, maybe I picked up some confidence that I'm just not niticing. Football maybe? Colorful polos? I don't know. Heather is definately not my type. A refreshing fact to talk to? Sure, but not date material. Then there's Amanda. It kind of surprised me that she wanted to be my partner the other day. We've been talkin a but, and I like her a lot, but I don't know. I think she likes Duke anyway. Kayla would be ok. Yea, she's not too terribly bright when it comes to school work, but some possibilities may exist. Steph Miller is great as always. A nice all around girl, but she is way out of my league. Me actually getting a date with her would be like the Williamsport Crosscutters blanking the Boston Redsox. Then again, miracles do happen. Football is just football. I made captain this week and thought I did a pretty good job Friday, but we got killed again. It's not that we're bad, it's just that turnovers kill. I'm still not hanging my head low. Kaizen.

So it was Rachel that ended up wearing my jersey. No attachment, she just wanted one to wear I suppose. We got obliterated friday night. It was a massacre. At least one thing good came out of it, I made captian for this week. So I told myself that I didn't like Amanda, that she wasn't my type. Yeah, I was wrong. We talked a lot today, at least with regard to how much I actually see here. I have come to the realization that I want her bad. It's just a question of how reciprocal the feeling is.

As of now, I'm feeling pretty good. My first game is tomorrow. I already know it's gonna feel good to get out there on the field again. My hiatus has been way too long. I think I caught Amanda looking at me a time or two in Spanish. I hope to God that she like sme. I do believe that she is the perfect girl for me. The only problem is knowing whether or not she likes me, and unfortuneately, that one problem is also huge. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I think I may be a step or two above "liking" her. I need to consult Katie on this matter. PErhaps she'll want to wear my jersey tomorrow. The dance also opens up more opportunities. It's still stressful though.